The piece, Awakening, was inspired by muse, Soleiman Bolour and his journey with the shadow "Broken."
Ever since I can remember I thought I was broken, and I had to be fixed. I thought I was broken in how I spoke to people, how I felt about people, how I thought about life, how I related to people, how I managed money, my sexual orientation, my way of loving people, how my mind worked, how my feelings took over, how much I thought. I can go on and on.
Everything was filtered through the lens of I am broken, so I needed to fix what was broken.
Living with the idea that I am broken, and something needed to be fixed, when I was 20 years old, I started to take personal growth workshops and trainings. I had the idea or premise that these workshops and trainings would fix me. These trainings and programs are going to fix what is "broken." I would hire coaches and therapists with the idea that they could fix me, make me whole again.
In attending these workshops or hiring the coaches and therapists, I would go in with the lens of being broken and mind you I didn't know this consciously. I would walk in feeling down and depressed. I thought I needed help and not knowing what I needed help with, all I know was that I was broken.
After years and years of personal growth workshops, Tantra, intimacy workshops, leadership programs, I realized that I was working with a flawed view and perspective of myself. I was working with the lens or premise that I am broken. If I am working with this premise or idea, then I will never break free from it. I will always want to fix something within me. I will always need to work on whatever is going on in me internally. I will never be able to set myself free, there will always be something to fix.
It took me a good 20 years to come to this realization, that I am not broken I am beautiful, capable, powerful being and there is always something new I can learn. There isn't anything broken with me to fix. I don't need fixing; I am always in a state of evolution. I am always learning and growing till the day I die.
This new lens or premise changed how I see myself and the world. I no longer see myself broken or the world is broken. There isn't anything to fix about myself or the world, there are only things that can be expanded upon, evolve, or grow or be aware of in my life and the world around me."