The piece, Odyssey, was inspired by my muse, Daniel Tyler Pohnke and his journey with the shadow "Unworthy."
Unworthy
Who told me this lie?
I know I wasn’t born with it.
I was born free, an eagle, my son shows me everyday.
I know my spirit soared.
Wait, it still does.
But again, this unworthiness creeps in like darkness to the daylight.
So, was it someone whom told me this? Something I did? Who I am?
As far back as I can remember, I worked tirelessly to fit in only to find myself alone, unworthy, afraid and left out.
Why, let me dissect for a moment.
Was it that friend in second grade that told me I sucked?
Was it that porno flick that told me my dick was small?
Was it that family member whom skillfully cut down my every move?
Was it my mom whom rushed in to save me when I was challenged?
Was it not having a father?
Was it loosing that bike race?
Loosing my shit at that show?
Was it because I gave up on her?
Was it because I got depressed?
I am consistently scared? I want to run and hide? I want someone to save me?
Is that why?
Was it all those times I cried in my wife’s arms, at my son’s smile?
Was it because I wanted to throw him out the window when he was less than 6 months old? Obviously I never did it.
Was it the rejection I received yesterday, they day before that or the day before that?
Wait
Is it because I am a white, middle aged man? No, it couldn’t be that.
Is it because I am Human?
Wait, am I unworthy?
What if I was worthy.
hmm...
Worthy enough to have a loving wife and adorable son.
Worthy enough to be supported my whole life in ways I never thought imaginable.
Worthy to have everything I really needed, no matter what I wanted.
Worthy enough to travel the world doing what I love.
Worthy enough to make a difference in dozens of people’s lives.
Worthy enough to write a book, hundreds of songs and thousands of letters, blogs and post.
Worthy enough to shoot hundreds of thousands of photos.
Worthy enough to stand on stages around the world and speak my truth.
Worthy enough to stand here and speak to my unworthy thoughts.
Worthy enough to smile. To be loved. To love.
Worthy enough to be
ME
Worthy enough to know ...
I am worthy.
–Daniel Tyler Pohnke